Jerald Francis Brockert: Franciscan Vocation

St. Francis, My Franciscan Vocation and What it Means to Me by Br. Jerald Francis Brockert
From the time I was very small St. Francis was the saint that most attracted me. I felt a special connection with him, and it was only partly based on his attraction for nature. What really interested me the most was his determination and giving everything over to God. He never wavered on that and stayed on his direction, no matter what. I became very interested in his order and at the age of 15 had visited a seminary in Cincinnati, Ohio, and, with my parents permission, I applied and was accepted. I did not want to be a priest, I wanted to be a brother. I had a locker number and was scheduled to arrive in September of my 15th year. That year was full of many changes. I became interested in girls and independence and since I was a lonely child most of my previous life, having new friends started leading me away from God. Church no longer became important, and the Franciscans began to take a backroad to fun and frolic. That summer I became very ill and had contacted polio. I was paralyzed in my right leg and could not walk on or move my leg for a long while. It started to go into my left leg. The Franciscan Seminary was cancelled but on the day I would have left home to go into the seminary, suddenly was leg was healed. Almost total functioning had returned. I still limped for a long time and had horrible charlie horses and rigid muscle spasms, but I was healed. The doctor called it a miracle. A lot of people had been praying for me. However, the Franciscans became a distant memory being overshadowed by the rest of growing up that included rebellion and a lot of strange twists and turns. But interest in Francis and his movement never completely left me, and at various times in my life I still continued the attraction. This led to a some bizarre attempts to make application to the order. In all, I made four, and each time was turned down for one reason or another. One time by a priest who felt my sins were too many (I felt like Merton). Another who said I would not do well with the vow of obedience and therefore rejected me. Another who said that I had severe brain damage and was not capable of doing much of anything. (I went on to Fordham for a BA and Masters Degree), and another who found alcoholism in my background and said they would not take anyone whose family had a history of that disease. The above was at different periods of my life. In my early thirties I joined the Third Order and was received and professed at St. Francis Church on 33rd St. Several years later I applied again after getting my Master's Degree and was accepted by - The Little Brothers of the Poor of St. Francis. That was a short lived stay. I regret that I was not ready for religious life, and as it worked out a few years after that both of my parents became ill and could not care for themselves and so I brought them to live with me until they each passed away. So perhaps it was all not to be. But Francis has been in and out of my life constantly. I am now part of a group at San Pedro Center in Orlando which is Franciscan. I am still a member of the Third Order but am not active. I taught at a Franciscan school for three years. A year ago on retreat I had a very powerful experience in which God seemed to recognize my struggle for acceptance as a Franciscan and an inner voice confirmed to me that I was a Franciscan. Throughout my life I have tried to examine just what being a Franciscan means to me. I see far more in Francis that just being a nature lover and as I said that is only part of my attraction. I see Francis as being a saint, who perhaps more than any other, lived the ideal of Jesus in his everyday life. He was immersed in the love of God, and gave all for that purpose. His dance was a dance of joy reflecting God's action in all our lives. He touched people by his example. He was too hard on himself and his body broke from the demands he placed on it. But it was this same man who would disregard the rules and sit with one of his brothers to eat a feast because the brother was suffering from malnutrition. Francis would give away his own cloak to anyone in need. He kissed and cared for lepers and bore the wounds of Jesus towards he end of his life. His final act of resignation was to have his brothers lay him on the ground naked with his arms stretched forward in a sign of giving all unto the very end. Francis was love and reflected the love of God back to us and still does. That is my attraction. Other saints have displayed his valor and kindness and good acts, but Francis saw God's goodness in even the smallest worm and he answered, for me, more than any other saint, the question, Lord Who Are You, Lord Who Am I. What he found and told us was -We are ONE.

St. Francis, My Franciscan Vocation
and What it Means to Me

Br. Jerald Francis Brockert

From the time I was very small St. Francis was the saint that most attracted me. I felt a special connection with him, and it was only partly based on his attraction for nature. What really interested me the most was his determination and giving everything over to God. He never wavered on that and stayed on his direction, no matter what.

I became very interested in his order and at the age of 15 had visited a seminary in Cincinnati, Ohio, and, with my parents permission, I applied and was accepted. I did not want to be a priest, I wanted to be a brother. I had a locker number and was scheduled to arrive in September of my 15th year.

That year was full of many changes. I became interested in girls and independence and since I was a lonely child most of my previous life, having new friends started leading me away from God. Church no longer became important, and the Franciscans began to take a backroad to fun and frolic.

That summer I became very ill and had contacted polio. I was paralyzed in my right leg and could not walk on or move my leg for a long while. It started to go into my left leg.

The Franciscan Seminary was cancelled but on the day I would have left home to go into the seminary, suddenly was leg was healed. Almost total functioning had returned. I still limped for a long time and had horrible charlie horses and rigid muscle spasms, but I was healed. The doctor called it a miracle. A lot of people had been praying for me.

However, the Franciscans became a distant memory being overshadowed by the rest of growing up that included rebellion and a lot of strange twists and turns. But interest in Francis and his movement never completely left me, and at various times in my life I still continued the attraction.

This led to a some bizarre attempts to make application to the order. In all, I made four, and each time was turned down for one reason or another. One time by a priest who felt my sins were too many (I felt like Merton). Another who said I would not do well with the vow of obedience and therefore rejected me. Another who said that I had severe brain damage and was not capable of doing much of anything. (I went on to Fordham for a BA and Masters Degree), and another who found alcoholism in my background and said they would not take anyone whose family had a history of that disease.

The above was at different periods of my life.

In my early thirties I joined the Third Order and was received and professed at St. Francis Church on 33rd St. Several years later I applied again after getting my Master's Degree and was accepted by - The Little Brothers of the Poor of St. Francis. That was a short lived stay. I regret that I was not ready for religious life, and as it worked out a few years after that both of my parents became ill and could not care for themselves and so I brought them to live with me until they each passed away. So perhaps it was all not to be.

But Francis has been in and out of my life constantly. I am now part of a group at San Pedro Center in Orlando which is Franciscan. I am still a member of the Third Order but am not active. I taught at a Franciscan school for three years.

A year ago on retreat I had a very powerful experience in which God seemed to recognize my struggle for acceptance as a Franciscan and an inner voice confirmed to me that I was a Franciscan.

Throughout my life I have tried to examine just what being a Franciscan means to me.

I see far more in Francis that just being a nature lover and as I said that is only part of my attraction. I see Francis as being a saint, who perhaps more than any other, lived the ideal of Jesus in his everyday life. He was immersed in the love of God, and gave all for that purpose. His dance was a dance of joy reflecting God's action in all our lives. He touched people by his example. He was too hard on himself and his body broke from the demands he placed on it. But it was this same man who would disregard the rules and sit with one of his brothers to eat a feast because the brother was suffering from malnutrition. Francis would give away his own cloak to anyone in need. He kissed and cared for lepers and bore the wounds of Jesus towards he end of his life.

His final act of resignation was to have his brothers lay him on the ground naked with his arms stretched forward in a sign of giving all unto the very end. Francis was love and reflected the love of God back to us and still does.

That is my attraction. Other saints have displayed his valor and kindness and good acts, but Francis saw God's goodness in even the smallest worm and he answered, for me, more than any other saint, the question, Lord Who Are You, Lord Who Am I. What he found and told us was -We are ONE.

St. Francis, My Franciscan Vocation and What it Means to Me

Br. Jerald Francis Brockert

St. Francis, My Franciscan Vocation
and What it Means to Me